Eh! I am a lonely old French millionaire, living alone in my beautiful modern house here on the hill, overlooking the bay of Fécamp and the view of the magnificent line of cliffs which runs down to le Havre. It will never be overlooked: It is the best site in the town. I 'ave absolutely no-one to leave zis house to when I die. You look like a responsible couple, and also, you are Engleesh. I wonder, would you care to come inside wiz me and see what you sink about my proposal. 'ere, come up onto zis terrace and admire ze view... As you see, ze house is built to ze most exacting architectural stanadards. Let me offer you a leetle drink.....
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Tiens! 'ere I am in my lovely new apartment, brand new as you say in Eengland. I 'ave 'ad many soughts about 'ow to decorate eet. We 'ave a very simple, modern, minimalist style 'ere. Very chic. So I will add a leetle trellis, 'ere, to give what you call a false perspecteeve. And I will add some bright blue plastic roses, 'ere and 'ere, so charming, no? And my old farzer, 'e was a fisherman, so in 'is 'onour I 'ave put zis model of a fishing boat right in front on ze balcony. Eet is good, no?
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Well, actually, the Place Gouret is named in memory of my great-uncle Albert Gouret who was betrayed as a member of the Resistance, right at the end of the war, and he was taken away and shot by the Germans. Of course I never knew him. I am very proud of him. The whole family is very proud. They were terrible times. We cannot imagine now what it was like. I run the Bar de la Place now, right in front of the Hotel de Ville. Very popular with tourists of course. We get a lot of Americans coming, art lovers, because of all the Impressionists who painted this town, and people interested in the Normandy landings. And Dutch and English of course. And Germans, too..... They love it.
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Mayor: Now, here we need to modernise the town. We need to pull down the fish-canning factory, and these old works. We need a good hotel, and a museum and a cultural centre. And a playground for the children. We'll have to close the road and move this bridge and it will cause a lot of disruption for three years. Then it will all be renewed. What do you all think?
Commune: Oui!
Départment: Oui!
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Paulette, you stand in front. You are the smallest. Now, Daniel, you next. Put your hand on Paulette's shoulder. Now, Lionel, you stand behind Daniel, yes that's right.Put your and on Danile's shoulder. Now, Cyril, you go behind Lionel. Michelle, you are next, you mustn't cry. Just stand here, and put your hand on Cyril's shoulder, and then we will have – er, who's the next tallest? I think Agnes, yes, you are the one.... Now, you twins come next, Aristide and Nicole, either one, it doesn't matter, you are the same height. Now, all you others, wait your turn. We have to take your picture in groups, and this way everyone gets an equal position in the composition. Hurry up, stand straight, remember this is where the famous French artist Manet stood to paint the cliffs... you will all be in our photograph, you will remember this day when you grow up, and be very proud. Now, stand very still, that's it, and a big smile! Good, now the second group. Starting with Alain, good, now Armande, and then Camille, yes, that's it......
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French TV cooking channel called Yumissimo... she is making velouté de concombre, incorporating rocket and tomato.... (True).
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Do you know what he's going to do? He's going to get some goats. In fact, he's already got some. They're in the orchard at the back and he's made them a shelter in that building at the side of the garden. I know it used to be a goat house, but he's been using it as a personal gym for the last few years. He's taken all that exercise equipment out and put it in the garage. Yes, it's true. I said to him Jean-Paul, you don't know anything about keeping goats. Milking them, and so on. They can really hurt you if they want to. And he said, there can't be too much to it, the peasants used to keep them. Really! He wants to make his own cheese. I ask you! He's not even here most of the time. He's a city man, not a farmer. He's in advertising. He doesn't know anything about farming. He says he can learn it all from the internet. Ridiculous.
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Mayor: This old building here on the quayside is very historic. It is not being used in the best way. In fact this whole property has always served in a useful way for our community and the present owner just wants to convert the place into apartments for a one-off profit. We will buy it from him by compulsory purchase, and make sure the whole town benefits from the restoration of the area. This will preserve our heritage and create jobs and new opportunities for generations to come. What do you think of this?
Commune: Oui!
Department: Ouit!
Echo from Belgium, Nederlands, Holland, Denmark: Oui! Oui! Oui!
Echo from England - typical council official: An Englishman's property is sacrosanct. And we have never used a Compulsory Purchase order, and don't intend to start now. Even an election doesn't scare us. Nothing the community does will make us change our mind..... Never mind if all the old skills and knowledge is lost, this man must be allowed to put his apartment block and cafes into this building......
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